The Wooing of The Call

So I went on this long journey that kept me away from my interest and dreams. I have spent about 10months away from writing, speaking, blogging, singing, real country cooking and designing. I had lost interest in the most simplest things. I went on this journey not by choice but time and life's issues overshadowed my very sense of self and I completely lost that which made me, ME. I was losing myself in bits, daily, to the perils of this so called existence; to responsibilities, adulthood, to life. The Vivian I once knew ran, leaping away from everything that defined who I really was. I remembered days when going to church and playing drums was fun, when staying up late, cleaning and decorating the sanctuary was my oasis. I remember the percolating smell of trying out new gourmet recipes from the food network and how that thrilled me. I also remember using my God given hands to design clothes, make gel candles that last for years. I remember my voice, the sound of it, the use of it, I remember the day the resounding of my voice broke a bulb in church. I remember using my mind to create, and my fingers wrote passionate poems and how writing was my life. I remember inspiration, the tingle I feel when I write something new. I remember the ideas, the dreams, the sense of ownership, the certainty of greatness, the knowing of who I am, and who was called to be. Now only the shadows exist, the thoughts of who I once was, but the knowing that somehow shes not too far gone. Yea, life did happen, principles did somehow change, did things I never thought I could do, but I do believe in a new day, a new start, a new Genesis. I do believe that all those things will come back once inspiration finds me again. I am on a different journey now, it just started today. This is my first writing in 10months, I am now pregnant with words, with stories yearning to be told, with ideas borne out of adversity, with a new sense of self. My conflicted soul is now finding rest, who I once was and who I am now makes a beautiful story, teaches a great lesson. I am ready to come alive, I am ready to bask in the wooing of the call.