Giving Less and Expecting More

Maybe its just me but I am getting tired of feeling like men don't put too much work into getting a woman this days. A guy in the 21st century takes you to the movies and maybe to Red Lobster and expects for you to put out, by the end of the date. He doesn't buy you flowers, doesn't open the doors, doesn't pick you up at your apartment. Back in the days men use to pick a woman up from home, probably gets permission from her parents before taking her out, buys her flowers, takes her out and doesn't expect a kiss until several dates after. Men this days have no patience to wait for a kiss, needless to say sex; by the second date if you are still keeping your legs closed he probably won't call you again. Times have changed. Men are no longer into preserving a woman's honor, and we women have somehow sold ourselves short. We don't even expect much from men anymore, just mediocrity in the quest to become Mrs. SO and SO. Think about it!!!

LOSING WEIGHT

I have been on this so called protein diet for about three days now. I have lost 5pounds so far with no exercise, I can hardly move though because I am so tired all the time. I found out that eating protein has helped me rest more; I sleep like a baby being on this diet. My goal is to lose 50pounds before the year ends so I hope I can stay away from bread and my favorite SUSHI.

Vivianspeaks

Google in Yoruba

You can Google in Yoruba thats so cool http://www.google.com/intl/yo/

Love taste different everytime

I realized today that I am one of the luckiest people on earth, having the breath of life in my nostril, my body intact and my senses normal. I can't but thank God for all He has done for me. I think to the fact that I never lacked love in all of my life, once I lose one, God brings another to fill my ever longing heart.
As I young girl I was filled with the love of the boy who gave me my first kiss when I was 15years old, then came another type of love, the very deep, penetrating kind of love that makes me write love poems, and compose love songs; the kind of love that was pure, we just spoke words, lingering words that seemed too complex for our young minds but somehow we understood what our hearts uttered.
Then at 19, a different sort of love came that got me setting boundaries, committing all sorts of things, but nonetheless, it was an abiding sort of love; the love that taught me real committment, forgiveness, trust, realness, and responsibility. A love that lasted about 7years of my early adult life.
Then came a more fiery, passionate love, the love at first sight kind of love. The love that made me lose myself without fearing the fall, the adult kind of love. This love came when I was finding my identity as a woman, this love got me doing and dreaming things I never thought possible. You never love the same. You love everyone differently, some you love with the passion of your youth, others with the neccessity of your adulthood with its pains and responsibility; but nevertheless you still love. No matter how you find it or how its given, the most important thing is to love.

Memoir Prt. 4

Now i know that if words alone was enough, maybe i would have been ur brightest star. But now that u spake ur words in fumblin' tongues, all i can do now is pray that tha peace of tha lord should come down and soothe ma ailin' soul. Times in tha past i told maself that it wasn't gonna die , that tha flame would keep ragin' on, but who is kiddin' who? I used to think that rivers cannot drown love, that waters too cannot wash it away but i guess i 4got that time changes yesterday! Thank u 4 this re-awakenin' call. I have slept 4 far 2 long. Now that ur yesterday means nothin' 2 u, i know now that i was dreamin' all this while. A dream that is a mirage in this desert of mine.
Although if i have tha chance to go back in time, i'll still pick u and all tha thin's that happened. Thin's we planned4 and tha ones we never planned. I'll still want 2 go thru tha thrills and pains u brought. I'll still want 2 feel what i felt 4 u, tha tears, tha pains, tha seperation, but i'd rather claim tha kiss i never got or maybe even more? But i know one thin' though, i have what many do not have now; a past that has shaped tha future. Tha experience has now made me a better person than i was b4. I leave u with a part of me that i know i can never retrieve. Tha better me now i reserve 4 that someone who would unlock tha door u closed. That person would lay claim 2 tha better me that u unknowin'ly moulded. Until then, i pray u get all tha love that u want. Somehow i think u deserve that. Take good care of urself ma dear sweet ol' Viv. I'll 4ever remain ur 'FRIEND'. CHEERIOS

Memoir Prt. 3

This is now a classic case of i have, u have not and u have, i have not.Its tha tale about ma sabre and ur bowers. Where i slashed, u cut and where u slashed, i cut. We then retire each night to our abode and adorin'ly brandish our tools! Phew they say goes tha air that whistles, yet i wonder if there is no longer fun in simple civility. Tha songs, tha poetry once we both cherished. Tha theme of both we once held dear in our hearts until we now had to say our cold and broken goodbyes. Tha glamor and glitz of which was over tha years now lost. Oh what a shame! For tha hearts that once craved fondness are now entangled in tha battle of wits.
Spirits merge with souls and tha soul conform with tha body, when this happens then love is born! Bred upon tha wings of heavens love. Upon tha magical wings of trustin' and givin' hearts. So u should've known that when ma words were spoken in a haze, even when ma words brought tears streamin' down ur face, that u were always in ma heart. For tha Holy book said 'where ur treasure is, there ur heart shall be'(matt6:21). This is no longer tha story of tha cries u may have heard at night, its not about that someone u used to 'like'; its about tha heart( ur heart) that predictably went cold! Its a tale of tha past that should be 4gotten, a memory that is now history. This history i'm afraid, should remain history....................

Memoir Prt. 2

Now close ur eyes and drift with me, think of tha one person u cherished tha most in this world, imagine losin' that person. Do u feel any longin' apprehension of tha wish to redress ur past mistakes? If u do then open ur eyes and once more drift with me. If u don't understand ma words, despair not, cuz tha truth in itself is not 4 u to exactly catch ma drift. All i ask is that u drift with ma flows and maybe pick a seed that u can sow, 4 life itself is like tha riddle of a flowerin' seed. Know it too that whatever we do 2day will become history 2morrow and we might have to tell our tales someday, maybe not exactly to an audience sha!
You see there is this sayin' that so much waters has passed under tha bridge, but funnily, they failed to note that tha bridge with years has remained! This bridge to many has its own significance. To many, tha bridge is a means to an end, so long as tha bridge stand to serve its purpose no one actually cares about tha waters that passes beneath! But if tha bridge then fails, tha significance of it as a bridge would thus fade. But u must note that interestin'ly though waters would still pass. Albeit to say though that tha very part ot that river where tha bridge once stood would lose its significance. Tha waters thus stand for tha years that has rolled by and tha thin's that happened therein. Tha bridge on its own stands for tha strenght and understandin' with which our love should have been oiled over tha years. Tha wheel with which our love should have been carried across tha bridge of time...................
TO BE CONTINUED.

Memoir Prt. 1

THIS WAS WRITTEN BY MY FIRST LOVE: Idowu Abaaji

For anyone that has loved and lost, there is somethin' deep inside that only them can feel. Yet tha blames does no stop comin' and u keep gettin' hurt. And somehow tha more u wonder at tha insensitivity of tha world around u, tha worst it gets. What then do u do? Get angry and curse? Or even stare up to look at tha creators eye up in tha heavens and sneer at what u imagined to be tha injustices of His smiles? Not many would understand tha rationale behind those words. For u too can never undertsand it. You have never been in tha battle of tryin' to salvage what u feel is left of a once promisin' future. Along tha way, many would patronise u with words like ' i know what u're goin' thru', but how could they possibly know when they're not u! Well they say it takes one to know one, but there's been non that came here with me that's not already left and yet i'm still here! Well i know u won't understand ma gibberish b'cuz like most outta townaz like u words are always taken from tha surface.
Life in its uncanniness can sometimes thrust a certain bitterness upon u that u may end up bein' prejudiced against life itself. U'd sometimes try and philosophise about it, but then u'd feel urself driftnin' on the edge of sanity and insanity. Soliloquy, reminiscents, vivid flashbacks and imaginations are tha seductive past times that tha past would thrust upon u, but u must know that they are tricks that would 4ever tie u to ur past. Tha weight in duress is of what tha heart may never comprehend with! See i'm not talkin' about tha scars( 4 tha wound must have healed to leave a scar), rather i'm talkin' about wounds that refused to heal. Ol' wounds that is yet fresh, 4 when it tries to heal thin's happen to open and re-open it. So u see such are tha feelin's of one who has loved and lost. Rich they are thus in experience yet they remain poor in acheivements. So for me, experiences such as those, silly as they sound and unwanted as they may be thus opened ma eyes. That tha future should not be left to chance, but must be planned. So to perfect tha future, one should be on his toes and weigh tha possibilities of a two world................

Are Men Really Serious?

It is appalling when I meet a man whose sole motivation is to sell you unsubstantiated dreams just to get into you-only to move on to the next victim soon after his desires had been met. Men who offer dreams of a better life, financial security, and marriage and women offering their bodies as bargaining chips to live that dream, and men who offer the world to women who are in search of heaven on earth. What can you give me? type of love, non- lasting emotions that ends after the first intimate encounter. How can this truly be love? Lethal dead end relationships that leave the victims with incurable scars. What happened to your word being your bond? What happened to happily ever after? What happened to Prince Charming saving you from the villain because he truly loves you and not because he wants to get in you? What happened to saying you love someone and truly backing it up with not just a constant reminder but some action? We prey on each other like vultures picking on dead carcasses, promises hold no weight, and vows mean absolutely nothing.My aunt once told me that “A man only loves you when he is on top of you, and when he is done he’s looking for another to love again.” THIS SHOULDN’T BE! I am not bashing men or trying to dethrone them but my question is “Why do men think women are pawns? Women are not just sexual objects that can be used and then dumped, we are not whatever you have been programmed to think we are. Be thoroughly clear about your intentions towards us and stand by it. Or is that too much to ask?

Doctor NaijaLove

ok am new at the whole blogging thing, so am not quite sure if anyone would read this. Anyhow I love talking about love, sex, relationships, self-packaging, mate shopping, marriage, naija dating, and whatever else is interesting. I guess this will be a great avenue to vant and let out my frustrations. I do have a online radio show but I have been on this vacation for 5-months, but I am back in full force.

What Do Men Want

Got this recently from www.nairaland.com quite fascinating, a guy decided to list this to educate the female species what men really want.

Ok here's my take on what men want in a woman, as i have replied the lady. Well, let me just first say that this is only MY opinion. I think men want the following:

1. A physical allure. Yes we are visual creatures. This is not necessarily beauty we crave, but more about her look being appealing to our individual preferences.

2. We look for a certain "swagger". We want a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. Has a confident air that shows throughout her personality ( This comes back to haunt us later, sometimes). With decency and great sense of humor.

3. We look for femininity. Yes we want her to have the confident swagger, but we want her to look, feel, smell, taste, dress, and move LIKE A WOMAN!

4. We want her to have a desire to please us. Not bow down to us, but desire to please us. Women mess this up a lot ( they will attempt to please us by doing the things they THINK we will love, instead of doing the things we TOLD THEM WE LOVE, oops, that's a different blog).

5. We want a woman who KNOWS what she believes; has a strong knowledge base, but doesn't try to take our leadership from us (even if she can do a better job, and if she can do better, then we want her to slide us a little teaching into our thick heads, not beat us down with it.) well motivated and creative in ideas.

6. We want a woman who will accept the fact that we aren't great men YET, and will encourage us to greatness, not badger us because we haven't acheived yet. And no matter how successful we are she is willing to remain a good backer. Afterall is common saying that, behind every successful man there is a woman.

7. We want a woman who will pray for us. You'D be surprised the effect on us when we see & hear you pray for us.

8. We want a woman who will exert actual energy in physical intimacy. Get on top; lick here, suck there and gently guide us in what we need to do to bring you to ; and occasionally allow us to F--- you rather than always make love. This is sometimes not always to keep the relationship lively as it was from beginning. Also, give us the same level of romance as you want, but see number 4. (uh, we're all grown, so pardon my bluntness)

9. We want a woman who will share. You shouldn't have to take care of a grown man, but if you have a pack of hot dogs already in the fridge, don't make us go buy another pack when you crave a hot dog (did that make sense?) that is genious in making the best out of any moment. Caring!.

10. We want an independent woman, but only meaning you don't NEED us to support you. You don't have to come to the table with as much as us. But you need to be willing to come to the table period! Even if neither of us has a table. That is an intelligent liberal woman, down to earth, simple and understanding.

11. We want a woman who will uplift our character in our presence and out of our presence. Don't be afraid to speak a kind word on our behalf. It won't make our heads swell. Only our hearts. We want women to understand us enough to know when to talk and when to shut-up, LISTEN and USE, the information you get from your man to please your man.

12. We want a woman who will give us enough rope to hang ourselves. This calls for women to trust again, even though you may have been hurt before. Many men don't give a damn about what you have done in the past, or what has worked in the past.[/color]

13. We want a woman who can accept a man's flirtations without destroying him in rejection, yet also without giving him any reason to believe that you might give him the coochie or time that you have labeled as belonging to us. Whew. This one is deep. You might want to read it twice, Basically, reject dudes who try to hit on you, but don't crush their ego or make them feel sorry for the boyfriend. Loland the most important one,

14. We want a woman who loves us without measure! And shows it.That's what REAL MEN want. But you probably should have asked what we really NEED.

OK THIS IS A BIT EXHAUSTIVE BUT THE GUY MADE HIS POINT, I GUESS I HAVE A FEW THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND.